March 28, 2012


And then it happened, albeit by myself

Protein Pancakes

1/2 c each of the following
-egg whites
-cottage cheese (I use salt free)

Add to taste

Cook on low, serve with peanut butter, black strap molasses, or good old fashioned (real) maple syrup


March 27, 2012

sick :: note

I'm a big girl. A grown up. I can take care of myself and others at the same time. But there are moments when I need someone to write me a sick note so I can stay home all day in my underwear. As a child I hated getting dressed. I'm very sensitive clothing wise and if something didn't feel right or I couldn't wear the same outfit for a month in a row I would throw a shit fit. I still hate getting dressed if I don't have enough time to think about it. I prefer pantsless.

I want to lay in bed all day with a lover and eat pancakes with raspberries and bananas and real maple syrup. Our phones will be off and we don't have to do anything except what we want to. We'll play our favorite songs and indulge in our favorite vices. Our bed will be our fortress where we can scheme and plan and talk about all of our thoughts in the safest place. Beds and bedrooms  should be warm, inviting and maintain a sense of sacricity; a place that emulates love and in a way mimics our outer world manifestation of the womb (too much? too ethereal? get over it.) I have some of the best conversations with friends and lovers alike (don't worry, I wash the sheets on a regular basis) in my bed; free from the weight of gravity and vertical demands, our thoughts float upwards - negotiating with the ceiling and reveling in bits of sun or moonlight.

A very wise friend of mine once said "I want to feel the best on my sick days - they're the days when you do the best things and have no remorse for getting paid to do it"

So true - take sometime for yourself or with you love. Schedule a sick day, do all the chores beforehand and just enjoy your space and the luxury of time alone or with your partner.

:: perfect music is key ::

YTGvB: Grimes "Nightmusic" from Yours Truly on Vimeo.

March 6, 2012

sounds of hawai'i

No matter where you go in Hawai'i someone is singing or playing an instrument. There are rhythms to be heard in the coqui frogs at night, the ebb and flow of the ocean, and the swagger of an easy island life. Here are a couple notable performances I was lucky enough to catch while in Hawaii. But guess what - there's a giveaway to go with everything! I'm giving away 2 Sea At Last packages! Both contain either a cd or digital download of their album "The Wade EP" and their special New Island Mix.  Leave a comment with your name and email, go to facebook and LIKE their page and I'll make a draw in a week. Tell all your friends. xo

The Oceanographers // Justin Miyamoto

Justin made my ears perk up and heart smile with his catchy songs reminiscent of Spring Breakup but with a warm California spin. He had everyone clapping, dancing, and singing along to "On the floor" in which all he wants is you to be dancing on the floor to the song he wrote for you. <3!!!  Ridiculously humble, soft spoken and cute; someone please move to the Big Island and make some music with him!

 Dustin Thomas 

I had the pleasure of seeing Dustin play 4 times over my visit - my first introduction to him was on the street in the above video. There were some shiver down your spine moments when he performed the Yahweh (I have no idea what it's called) song at the Akebono Theater and had everyone stand in a circle and sing the chorus and then hearing everyone sing on the street in the rain outside of the Kava bar was pretty damn spectacular. Dustin writes beautiful lyrics and hooks that create instant ear worms (Walking on (Glass) is ridiculously catchy) but his blossom, and arrival into manhood, will come after his heart is smashed by the love of his life. Normally, this is not something you wish upon a person but when it brings musical growth you almost can't wait. Good luck my friend, I'll lend you my shoulder. I look forward to crying and smiling over all your beautiful music to come.

Medicine for the People 

THE Superstars of the Island and of positivity. Their energy and ability to keep on keeping on and play until they can't play anymore (but still would) is comparable only to the performance I saw put on by Sharon Jones. I saw them at the Tavern in Hilo, Akebono Theater in Pahoa and outside of The Kava Bar on the sidewalk for a benefit. Every single show they both played for 2+ hours with so much energy and power; some songs were 16 minutes long.  Hope, who plays the djembe and cajon, is also a midwife and BEAMS with so much beauty and goodness, it's hard to take your eyes off of her. Medicine would be such an amazing addition to Folk Fest! I have to admit their online videos and recording does not, in anyway, capture their amazing spirit and electricity.

Sea At Last *CD giveaway x 2

The best surprise a gal could ask for: a rock duo from Portland with a female drummer (swoon swoon swoon) who had my bum a shaking and my body rocking. They even covered a Black Keys song each night (Next Girl and Act Nice and Gentle - I think) so I automatically love them. I'm hoping they'll apply to some local festivals and come rock our local socks off. Even though the sound of ukelele are sweet they were the breathe of fresh air I needed amidst plinks and plonks and Tori and Cohen are some of the nicest people I've ever met. The track "The Wade" and their Island EP got my through some pretty interesting solo adventures my last two day on the me, you WANT their music!!!  Reminder : to qualify for this draw you have to go like their Facebook Page too.


February 16, 2012

be the goodness

This morning as I doled out my daily vitamins I reflected upon my care practice and how strenuous it has become. Every morning I have hot water, lemon, apple cider vinegar, and grapefruit seed extract followed by a litre of water, I make breakfast every single morning (hot oats, pancakes, or eggs) and take 10+ vitamins just at breakfast alone. Eating and maintaining balance takes more time than doing my hair or picking out an outfit and I can't tell you how many times a day I pee; I lose count after 6 (and that's before noon). I couldn't help but wonder "when did taking care of ourselves become an optional hobby or pastime instead of our full time job?"

Without proper nutrition and care we can't function - sleep for 5 hours, pound coffee, eat processed food, sit all day, stare at a computer, go home, go out. Drive yourself into the ground and feel like shit day in, day out. Been there/done that/have the postcard blah blah blah I'm watching my skin clear itself and glow again, my eyes brighten, my body feel stronger and lighter - I have energy to do anything and everything and then some. I can listen to exactly what my body needs and what it doesn't like - not just "my belly hurts" but can figure out WHY and avoid making those same errors in the future. There's no reason to live with belly discomfort because of our own actions - stop making war with your guts!

I'm not gloating from health mountain, far from it, I'm not perfect nor claiming to be. However, watching friends and loved ones completely disregard their health and the potential to be healthy is heartbreaking. It's hard, it's time consuming, and you have to start small. I've affectionately named my diet the "chop and chew" diet as I literally have to cut and thoroughly chew everything I make- this sounds stupid like DUH ANDREA of course you chew your food but if you pay attention you'll notice that you probably don't. Eat a piece of broccoli or kale...still chewing? That's what I thought. (I'll also warn you, you'll need to spend more time doing the dishes too). Work hard to take care of yourself so your body work for YOU so YOU can do everything and anything YOU want to. Try, fail, learn, regroup, look for support but do it and do it for the one person that matters the most...YOU.

Let's be ALIVE together.

your mom

February 3, 2012

pour les garcons

my answer to your friday night text of "what are you doing?" will always be "not you."


January 27, 2012

feed me. and deal with my feelings.

Uh so remember when I talked about food ALL the time? Well, after a bit of a lifestyle restructure I don't have as much to talk about. I'm exclusively eating a whole/clean food diet until I say when. Basically, much like my current approach to boys, I'm asking my food "Are you good enough to be inside of me?"  because I need quality, not quantity, thanks.  Today marks 12 days of being alcohol, soy, and refined sugar free and eating very little gluten (oh, and loser dick free) How do I feel? Pretty good- although the arrival of my period sent my life into a tizzy and had me frantically googling " flourless sugarless low fat chocolate cake" from my bed yesterday. I did find this recipe for a chocolate cake using quinoa that I might just make once I feel like I've actually earned it. I found a far superior recipe that was vegan and far more appealing but of course, now I can't find it. I also have to be prepared for the fact that I will probably eat the entire fucking thing. In my bed. Alone. While watching something that has to with Ryan Gosling.

However, I did make this  morrocan chickpea and zucchini stew the other night. While not chocolate it was still pretty good after I basically remade the recipe which, if you had followed the OG directions would leave you with soup. So chef's choice, but here's mine
  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 
  • 2 cups (1/2-inch) cubed zucchini
  • 1 cup chopped onion 
  • 1 cup chopped carrot 
  • 4 cloves crushed garlic
  • 1/4-1/2c raisins (golden would be delightful)
  • 3+ sliced turkish apricots
  • 1/4c+ fresh grated ginger
  • 1 1/4 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 2+ tablespoons ground cumin
  • 1 tablepoon ground coriander
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt 
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
  • Pinch of cayenne
  • 1 19oz cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained
  • 1 1/2 c salt free canned diced tomatoes (a big can is around 28oz, I scooped most of the 'matoes out and left most of the liquid behind)

    Saute the first 4 ingredients in medium heat until softish (technical term, yes). Add in the remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, cover, simmer, eat. If you let this sit for a day, the flavors get extra flavory. Best served with a dollop of greek yougurt, a squeeze of lemon, chutney or  freshly chopped apple and mint, and some toasted almonds or crushed pistachios on top. Serve with red quinoa, couscous is gross and not good enough to be in you!

    Then get Mr. Gosling to do your dishes

ps : I really fucking love Amelia Aspen, I remember the day when I was 17 and went up to her bad ass self in psych 104 and said "are you Motorjoan?" and she came and sat with me. Then we were pals. She wrote this post in her blog and it made me sob because as someone who was bullied her whole fucking life, who has the most fucked up body image and self esteem issues ever, and who daily hates and despises her body I needed that slap in the face. I do the best to deal with her but it's a long drawn out battle. Some days I love this body and what it can and has done and other days, especially when I see shit like this  I want to never leave my bed. So then I looked at other bellies and felt like a female human again but most importantly, like a woman. So basically, lets run around in our underpants, eat like we've never eaten before and dance like everyone's watching. Because they can't take their fucking eyes off of us.


January 23, 2012

i am a bitch.

Sometimes I hear what comes out of my mouth and how. I am a bitch. A mean girl with a burn book that lives inside of her heart. Even though I promised myself to live open, quiet the judgements, and foster acceptance I am still a bitch.

Blame it on the uterus, blame it on a Monday.

Today, I didn't even like myself.